And No One Ever Made a Movie Again
Let me start past apologizing to anyone who went to see "Battleground Earth."
Information technology wasn't as I intended — promise. No one sets out to make a train wreck. Actually, comparing information technology to a railroad train wreck isn't actually fair to railroad train wrecks, because people really want to watch those.
Information technology started, as so many of my choices practice, with my Willy Wonker.
It was 1994, and I had read an commodity in Premiere magazine saying that the Celebrity Eye, the Scientology epicenter in Los Angeles, was a great place to meet women.
Willy convinced me to go check it out. Touring the building, I didn't find any eligible women at offset, but I did meet Karen Hollander, president of the centre, who said she was a fan of "Robin Hood: Men in Tights."
We ended up talking for over ii hours. She told me why Scientology is so bang-up. I told her that, when it comes to organized religion, anything a person does to reward, threaten and try to control people by using an unknown similar the afterlife is unsafe.
Nonetheless, Karen chosen me a few days later on request if I'd be interested in turning any of L. Ron Hubbard's books into movies. Eventually, I had dinner with John Travolta, his wife Kelly Preston, Karen — about ten Scientologists in all. John asked me, "And so, J.D., what brought you to Scientology?"
I told him. John smiled and replied, "Nosotros have tech that tin can help you handle that." I don't know if he meant they had technology that would help me go laid or technology that would stop Willy from doing the majority of my thinking.
I researched Scientology before signing on to the movie, to make certain I wasn't making anything that would indoctrinate people. I took a few courses, including the Purification Rundown, or Purif.
You become to CC every solar day, take vitamins and become in and out of a sauna so toxins are released from your trunk. You're supposed to attain an "Stop Betoken." I never did, but I was bored so I told them I had a vision of L. Ron. They said, "What did he say?" "Pull my finger," was my response. They said I was washed.
During my Scientology enquiry, I met an employee who I instantly had a beat out on. She was kind of a priestess, and had dedicated her life to working for the church building by becoming a Sea Org member. She said that she signed a billion-year contract.
I said, "What! Really?" She said she got paid a pocket-sized stipend of $50 a week, to which I said, "Can you become an advance on the billion years, like say, a mere $500,000?" And and then she said as a Sea Org member, you can't have sex unless you're married. I asked her if she was married. She said aye. So I said, "Great! That means we can take sex!"
Equally far equally I know, I am the only non-Scientologist to e'er be on their prowl transport, the Freewind. I was a scrap of an oddity, walking around in a robe, sandals, smoking Cuban cigars and drinking fine scotch (Scientologists are not allowed to drink while taking courses). I likewise got 1 of the best massages ever. My friends asked if I got a "happy ending." I said, "Yes, I got off the ship."
But if you're reading this to go the dirt on Scientology, lamentable, no one ever tried to forcefulness me to do anything.
Fifty-fifty later on all the "trouble" I'd gotten into, people at the church liked me, so I read "Battleground Earth" and agreed to come upward with a pitch to take to studios.
I met with Mike Marcus, the president of MGM, and pitched him my take. He loved information technology, and the next solar day negotiations went under way. A few days after I finished the script, a very excited Travolta called, told me he "loved it," and wanted to accept dinner.
At dinner, John said once again how much he loved the script and called it "The 'Schindler's Listing' of sci-fi."
My script was very, VERY different than what concluded upwardly on the screen. My screenplay was darker, grittier and had a very compelling story with rich characters. What my screenplay didn't have was dull motion at every turn, Dutch tilts, campy dialogue, aliens in KISS boots, and everyone wearing Bob Marley wigs.
Shortly after that, John officially attached himself to the project. Then several A-listing directors expressed interest in making the picture, MGM had a budget of $100 million, and life was grrrrreat! I got studio notes that were typical studio notes. Naught too crazy.
I incorporated the notes I felt worked, blew off the bad ones and did a polish. I sent information technology to the studio, thinking the next I'd hear is what manager is attached.
Then I got another batch of notes. I thought information technology was a joke. They changed the entire tone. I knew these notes would kill the movie. The notes wanted me to lose key scenes, add ridiculous scenes, have out some of the central characters. I asked Mike where they came from. He said, "From u.s.a.." But when I pressed him, he said, "From John's camp, but we agree with them."
I refused to incorporate the notes into the script and was fired.
I HAVE no idea why they wanted to go in this new direction, only here'south what I heard from someone in John'due south campsite: Out of all the books L. Ron wrote, this was the one the church founder wanted most to become a movie. He wrote all-encompassing notes on how the motion-picture show should exist made.
My script was very, VERY different than what ended upwardly on the screen. My screenplay was darker, grittier and had a very compelling story with rich characters.
Many people called information technology a Scientology movie. It wasn't when I wrote it, and I don't feel information technology was in the final product.
Yes, writers put their beliefs into a story. Sometimes it's subtle (I approximate 50. Ron had something confronting the color imperial, I have no thought why), sometimes not so subtle (Fifty. Ron hated psychiatry and psychologists, thus the reason, and I'k simply guessing here, that the bad aliens were called "Psychlos").
The simply time I saw the movie was at the premiere, which was one as well many times.
Once it was decided that I would share a writing credit, I wanted to apply my pseudonym, Sir Nick Knack. I was told I couldn't do that, because if a writer gets paid over a certain corporeality of coin, they can't. I could have taken my proper noun completely off the movie, but my amanuensis and chaser talked me out of information technology. There was a lot of coin at stake.
Now, looking back at the motion-picture show with fresh eyes, I can't assist merely exist strangely proud of it. Considering out of all the sucky movies, mine is the suckiest.
In the end, did Scientology get me laid? What practise you remember? No manner do you get whatever action by boldly going up to a woman and proclaiming, "I wrote Battleground Earth!"
If annihilation, I'm trying to figure out a way to bottle it and use it as birth command. I'll make a mint!
bernierfaccorelfain1981.blogspot.com
Source: https://nypost.com/2010/03/28/i-penned-the-suckiest-movie-ever-sorry/
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